welcome to the black market...

date 24/9 - 1/10
bought: savers
brand: atari
size: small
price: $5.99
colour: my attire for a black tie event
why: because video games are cool

i am indeed classically trained in the art of video gaming. i was more of a commodore 64 man myself though. the atari 2600 was already 10 years old by the time i was born. times had changed the videogame industry had moved on to bigger and better things. i remember getting a playstation for christmas. i bugged my dad so often and so many times that he told me i was definitely not getting one but he lied and i did and it was awesome.

i remember hitting up the golden arcade next to Sham Shui Po MTR station in hong kong, the only place to buy counterfeit games, consoles and electronics. 3 or so stories of a city block filled with stores and stalls selling every computer program ever made. they had this mad system of avoiding the law... the stalls would have big binders with pictures of all the games. you'd point to the ones you wanted, they'd be written down, you'd bargain and eventually settle on an acceptable price. no counterfeit games were ever kept in the store. a phone call would be made and you'd have to wait for the games to be brought to you in sealed black plastic bags or you'd be sent 2 stories down to the stairwell to pick up your merchandise. i was once even sent out of the arcade and down the street, given instructions to knock on a red door and pass them a note.

everyone knows the products aren't real, but no one ever talks about it. the store operators were always a little nervous, always looking around. but the whole black market industry was set up so well they knew when a raid was coming. all at once the message gets out. the customers are rushed out of stores, people hurriedly pack things away, shutters are pulled down and closed fast. before you know it the whole operation is shut down and there you are standing on the street with a hundred other black market customers. there will be no more shopping today.

but tomorrow it will be open again, business as usual. i wonder if it's still there. its been near a decade since i last broke the law in hong kong.

this is my tee...

date 17/9 - 24/9
bought: giordano
brand: giordano
size: extra small
price: $10
colour: stuff white people like #63 expensive sandwiches why: a timeless classic, a tee no collection should be without

This is my tee. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My tee is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. My tee, without me, is useless. Without my tee, I am useless. I must fire my tee true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will...

everyone i know should own a white tee, even everyone you know should too. when nothing else in your wardrobe will work, this tee will be there. nothing in this world is parallel to rocking out in denim and a white tee, throw in a pair of wayfarers or a simple jacket and there you have it, perhaps the most essential item of clothing you may ever own. from James dean and the jets of west side story to musicians around the world and even hugh jackman as wolverine. there exists a purity that no other tee can come close to replicating. whether you wear yours when your painting a house or when you're partying it up you will become a better person for it. you will be pure, you will be white, you will be untouchable...

except perhaps by those wildly coloured cocktails that the ladies are so found of

My tee is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its sights and its barrel. I will ever guard it against the ravages of weather and damage as I will ever guard my legs, my arms, my eyes and my heart against damage. I will keep my tee clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will...

when caring goes wrong

date 10/9 - 17/9
bought: threadless.com
brand: threadless
size: medium
price: Freeeeeeee.....
colour: the colour of objects that do not emit or reflect light in any part of the visible spectrum
why: another choice gift from deejay nicKy T. from those un-matchable lords of internet tee shirt couture

for us down here in the south of the world the threadless phenomenon is relatively new and more difficult to access. but the guys at threadless have been doing what they do for ten years. connecting artists around the world with the ability to see their designs not just printed but seen and purchased by a massive global audience.

what this means for me is another sweet tee to add to my collection. it may not be a Warhol but this tee is another marker of that postmodern world we live in

and hey it has a care bear smoking a cigarette

what could be cooler...

it's hip to be a square

date 03/9 - 10/9
bought: Ebay
brand: Team Zissou
size: small
price: $16.99
colour: zissou Blue
why: who can resist a man in a in a sky blue tee, on a boat with a red cap and speedo

quite possibly one of the most odd films you will ever see. do yourself a favour and watch "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou" or any film by Wes Anderson. personally i couldn't get the acoustic covers of David Bowie classics in portuguese out of my head so i had to buy the cd. if, like me, you enjoy that quirky kind of film and music 'they' call indie then get on it. but if you are indeed truly 'indie' then you will have probably seen and heard this, enjoyed it while you were the only person to have seen it and then moved on as soon as the number of followers on twitter hit 10. to the next indie hit that no one has heard of yet

but don't worry if you like this film and will continue to like this film even if it becomes popularized because like all things fashionable it moves in a circle. in a generations time people will have forgotten about it and its number of facebook fans will drop below that double digit number and thus it will become 'cool' again and by association so will you...

for about 12 seconds

but in this crazy world any longer and you've already sold out

gold gold gold

date 27/8 - 03/9
bought: savers
brand: olympic
size: small
price: $2.99
colour: greyish whiteish marble
why: this tee is absolute gold

1996 was one hell of a year. the super chess computer "deep blue" defeates Garry Kasparov for the first time, Alanis Morrisette wins the grammy for album of the year, the nintendo 64 is released, the first cloned animal 'dolly' the sheep is born and Tupac Shakur is gunned down in las vegas and of course the olympics are held in atlanta.

where would we be without the atlanta olympics? Muhammad Ali would be missing a gold medal. there are developments too in the new sports played at these olympics, softball and mountain biking but most important of all... beach volleyball. the inclusion of scantily clad women diving around in the sand adds a certain class to the international sporting world.

but most importantly this tee was created. who knows where it's been hiding since then...

paradise found...

date 20/8 - 27/8
bought: savers
brand: paradise
size: small
price: $2.99
colour: Patrick White
why: it's the colours, those sweet sweet colours
spotted: looking cute and a little sleepy. late night. melbourne.

another gem found lying amongst the rabble of gwen steffani tour shirts and awfully sloganized tees. another tee to add to the list of places i've never been, not because i haven't been to bali but because i don't remember seeing a lush green paradise populated with neon purple birds. no... this tee is from an entirely different world, think of it as less indochina and more 'paradise. less second hand tee shirt and more of a journey into the unconscious

still waiting for an answer to last weeks quote question seems like no one wants the awfully cheap prizes i offered. thats cool, it just means more free slurpees for me and not you and with the weather heating up (slowly) that's always a good thing

who wants to win a prize???

date 13/8 - 20/8
bought: savers
brand: threadless
size: small
price: $3.99
colour: Green like the FNG's
why: i would've bought this tee from threadless if they hadn't sold out

its like "a bridesmaid's dress. someone loved it intensely for one day, then tossed it. like a christmas tree, so special then bam it's abandoned on the side of the road, tinsel still clinging to it".

this is how i feel about all my second hand tees. i like to think of the history they hold within their threads.
if these walls could talk.

girl meets boy, girl buys boy tee, girl breaks boy's heart, boy gives away tee. the story could end here. or i could find this tee, give it a new life, a new purpose and make it an internet star. i also saw this tee on that american guy on the gruen transfer. maybe it's that very same tee, given to him to wear by the ABC fashion advisers then donated, because it can't be used on TV again.

these are all possibilities. but they don't change the fact that this is a good tee, and now it's also 'my' tee

so who can tell me where the "bridesmaid's dress" quote is from, there's a prize, one of those awesome dinosaur shaped donuts from donut king and a coupon for 1 medium slurpee at 7/11

get searching kids for your sweet sugary rewards

P.S. have you been wondering what has been missing from your life? existential crisis over. its seeing me act!
to see my mad acting skillz

click here...

say cheese...

date 6/8 - 13/8
bought: savers
brand: Jarlsberg
size: small
price: $4.99
colour: he's talkin' with davy who's still in the navy, blue
why: jarlsberg, probably my favourite kind of cheese

actually that's a big call. jarslberg is good, it may even be great but there is a lot of cheese out there. the swiss sure know all about neutrality and jarslberg is as neutral as it gets in the cheese world. but seriously people, who made this tee? and for what purpose? was it a special buy 3 wheels of jarlsberg and send away for your free cheese themed tee kind of deal, cuz that would be freekin sweet. with that kind of cheese i'd have enough not to be angry if i came home to find you'd eaten an entire wheel of cheese, i'd just be impressed

i feel the need to increase the number of wine and cheese tastings i attend. where i can proudly don my jarslberg tee and stick it to those non cheese loving tasteless crackpots who probably think cheese comes individually sliced and wrapped in plastic. it doesn't. that shit ain't even cheese. you can get halfway through a slice before you realised the plastic is still on because it tastes the same even if you do unwrap it. so this is for you. you eat that plastic wrap cheese, and you probably eat that kraft cheese spread too and you possibly bought that i snack2.0 thing they sold for a while. but stop, put down that orange piece of rubber in your hand and go buy some real cheese.

it comes in many forms, brie, camembert, roquefort, bleu, pecorino, parmesan just to name a few

and now it comes in tee form

i'm a blade man. man

date 30/7 - 6/8
bought: savers
brand: vision streetwear
size: small
price: $2.99
colour: mr. black
why: this tee is tough. enough said

this weeks tee is from the wrong side of the tracks. it hangs out at the local skatepark doing things like underage drinking and vandalism. it is so tough it lost its sleeves in a knife fight. it was once called chicken and so, jumped off a 12 story building into a kiddie pool filled with concrete. if Chuck Norris was a tee this would be it.

with summer just around the corner sleeves have been made optional on this weeks tee. i doubt it would have the same 'tough' character if it did though. classic logo. classic white on black. this tee is like a kick in the face with a pair of studded motor cycle boots. if you wear a tee like this there is no need for leather jackets. this tee is all the protection you will need.

this tee is
bullet proof
stab proof
poser proof